Sunday, June 12, 2011

Peace in Waiting

Waiting. Yep, that is what I am doing right now. Not waiting on any one, or special event, just on an endeavor I have longed to do for over a decade. This endeavor, we will call it "M.D." for (My Dream), is something that I have realized I am not capable of doing without the help from God. So, you would think that by realizing this I would be able to trudge forward and get to work, right? WRONG! I am as stuck as a bug to glue. Nope, not moving anywhere. M.D. has looked really promising at times and has even managed to wrench out a little progress from me. Then out of no where I slam into a wall and everthing I have worked on crumbles and I once again am starting from scratch. Do you ever feel like this? Like you work at something and think you have finally got it right only to have it blown up and your left back at ground zero? Well, this has been me lately. You might be saying, "Don't you think you should find another M.D.?" No, I do not! Tenacity and determination are what seperate the doers from the failures.

It was my birthday this year that really put things in perspective. I believe everyday is a gift from God, no less each birthday. But this year was different. Let me explain about this gift a little more in detail. I receive a couple of daily devotions to my e-mail account each day. I usually only read one specific one and ignore the others. But on my birthday, I decided I would read this one which I usually don't. I felt it was as if God was speaking directly to me. It was like this devotion was about me, just my unfinished story. God was giving me a very personal gift. His blessing and reassurance that He knows of M.D. and I have His backing. Ha, I have God's backing! But there was one underlying message to it, I must wait on Him. What?! I've been waiting over a decade! I have had all sorts on stumbling blocks to derail me! Babies, a disease, and all the other choatic mess life throws at you! And I am STILL supposed to wait?! It was in this moment that I realized God's true Glory. Psalm 37:7 says, " Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; .. There it is again, the word "wait". There was also another word accompanying my evil nemis, it is the word, "patient". Now here is something I have yet to master. Patience may be a virtue, but I am truly lacking in this department. I am not one for patience, my husband I am sure will be the first to second this. So how does one achieve "patience" so they can "wait"? The answer lies in Philippians 4:11-13, " I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Wow, does this scripture speak to me. It is all about finding peace and security in the One above. To me,this is one of the most beautiful scriptures in the bible. Life's uncertainties can leave us all feeling hollow and inadequete. It is about truly turning it all over to Him and letting go and letting God. Peace in the quietness. Peace in the darkness. Peace in the waiting.

M.D. will come. I know His timing is the right timing. Will I strugge with waiting? Yes, I am sure, but there is always His words, scriptures to reassure me and stregthen my faith. So if any of you out there are stuck in a "waiting period", I incourage you to turn it over to the God above who loves you and cares about you and your dreams. Then you will find peace.


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